


I Die, My Paradigm

by Soul4Sale



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death, F/M, M/M, PTSD!Tony, descriptions of violence, night terror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-23
Updated: 2013-03-23
Packaged: 2017-12-06 04:30:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/731447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soul4Sale/pseuds/Soul4Sale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony has bad dreams, and is surprised to find that the worst part is the arrival of a new person he didn't know was so important.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Die, My Paradigm

**Author's Note:**

  * For [YumeArashi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/YumeArashi/gifts).



> So… I decided I wanted a FrostIron rp, and Todd agreed to do one with me. I was listening to Paradigm by We Are The Fallen as I was writing it, and it got away from me a bit. I thought, ‘Hey, maybe the other fans would like this, despite it being angsty…’   
> I also thought maybe you guys would like to see it as a fanfiction, later. I don’t know if I will really do it, but we’ll see if anyone likes it.
> 
> This is also a bit of a piece that I'd like to dedicate to YumeArashi, because of her idea for a PTSD!Tony....

The dreams, they were getting worse. More in-depth, and each time more heart-wrenching to wake from. Sometimes, he would shoot up like a missile in bed, breathing heavily, clutching the arc reactor like regular people gripped their chest for their heart. The soft thrumming of it in the dark, quiet room was almost a comfort, but the terror his dreams imparted on him were something he couldn’t escape. The thing that bothered him most was who the dreams were about, and what happened. It was always the same.

The Avengers, as a team, were fighting something big, intimidating, and horrible, with gnashing teeth and claws like lawn mower blades. Slowly, it cut them down; Natasha’s head would roll in front of him, void of her body, as he fell to the ground on his hind-end. He wouldn’t register the pain because the thought of her reduced to a headless corpse before his eyes was something he had a hard time coping with. Thor would be nearest him, and hoist him up before the creature was able to gut him, throwing him and trying to block with his hammer. Only to have his stomach pierced through until the single claw stuck nearly a foot out of his back. Images of his smile as he plunged headfirst into a meal he’d never eaten flashed in front of his eyes, and with dismal regret he noted that he’d likely never see that face again. He could almost see the life draining from his face, and it was scary, because Thor was a _demi-God_ , for Christ's Sake. 

Next would be Clint, who ran out of arrows and was forced to use a knife, which meant close combat. Fighting a blade of bone that was nearly as tall as you were with a knife may not have been the smartest idea, because in mere seconds, criss-crossing claws turned Hawkeye into Hawk Bologna; reducing him to slices. It was always at this point that Tony turned and forced his helmet open, retching onto the cracked and broken gravel. Bruce would comfort him momentarily, his sweet, kind best friend who was always there when he needed him, and even when he didn’t he was a phone call away. And, while he was busy making sure Tony was okay, while he was _distracted_ with _Tony’s_ well-being, he stopped being well, himself. Flayed open at the back, spine exposed as though they were going to debone and cook him. The other genius doesn’t have time to Go Green before he’s bleeding out, collapsing into Tony’s eyes. And he sees those beautiful, knowledgeable eyes turn dark in understanding, Bruce sighs bodily and manages, “I... I-I’m sorry...” In the smallest voice that the billionaire had ever heard from him. Tears leak down his face, now, and he carefully sets his friend down, just in time to turn.

A loud _clang_ echoes as the claws hit that shield, and suddenly Tony’s heart throbs with pain, his words are choked in his throat, and _dear God why can’t we just run this once, we need to regroup, I can’t lose you, too..._

With a sudden _thwak_ and squish, brown eyes widen as Steve’s mouth is force-fed the thick bone, and his skull is split entirely in half. If that didn’t kill the Boy Wonder, it was likely having it jammed down  his throat, splitting open his flesh on the way down.

It was usually this point in his dreams that Tony himself was finally slain. However, tonight seemed to be an exception.

Loki rose from nothing, tall and imposing, helmet shining in the dismally bright and happy sunlight. Tony had watched his friends, his _teammates_ , die one by one. It didn’t make sense that his jaw clenched, his hands clammy and frozen at his sides, his heart leapt into his throat and he could only scream silent _no, no, **no**_ ’s when he saw the claws come down. Loki turned his face seconds before his demise, offering a soft, genuine, loving smile, before his blood spattered over that impeccable pale skin. 

He hadn’t even died, and he shot up in bed, nearly falling off the foot with the sheer force of it. Even after he almost destroyed the world, Tony hadn’t had a dream about Loki. Why was the thought of the man dying for him so mind-blowing? Or, was it even the fact that he died for him? It could always be that Loki died _period_... Suddenly, he was unsure of what to do with himself, but his body took control, and he sobbed, tears flowing. At first, they were choked out as though he was incapable of opening his throat for more than a second’s breath. Soon, they evened out a bit, and his shoulders heaved as he pressed his eyes into the crook of his thumb and forefinger. 

“Loki...” He whimpered, throwing a suddenly frightened glance at his side, to find his nice, large bed empty. Pepper must have still been gone for business... He figured it was good that way. Collapsing back against the headboard, he sighed, finally managing to wipe the tears from his cheeks as he dug the heels of his palms into his eyes. “What is _wrong_ with me...?”


End file.
